Monique Gray Smith is an award-winning, bestselling author of books for children and adults as well as an accomplished international speaker and consultant. Of Cree and Scottish descent, she has been sober and on her healing journey for more than 34 years. Monique Gray Smith and her family live on the traditional territory of the WSÁNEĆ People.
Monique Gray Smith’s Sharing the Light presents a series of vignettes, personal stories, reflections, and questions that invite us into an active practice of gratitude, love, joy, happiness and hope – what she calls the five ways of being. In prose that is clear and fresh like deep, calm water, this slim volume reminds us that we all have important light to share.
Interviewed by Amy Reiswig
Amy Reiswig (AR): This book became an instant bestseller. Why do you think its message resonates so strongly right now?
Monique Gray Smith (MGS): There’s a lot of darkness in the world right now, partly through people in elected positions who are making decisions that don’t foster the wellness of humanity or the planet. As well, since the pandemic, the freedom to express hate became okay somehow, and there are a lot of people for whom that actually isn’t okay, and they’re looking for some light amongst all of this ick that’s happening. I really do believe books come into the world at just the right time. Like the children’s book I Hope was originally supposed to come out in 2018, and it didn’t come out till 2022, just as kids were going back to school and we needed hope in the middle of the pandemic.
And also, I think the cover by Betty Albert is so beautiful.
AR: The title, Sharing the Light, involves the idea of reciprocity, because sharing needs a giver and a receiver. But in my experience, a lot of people have a hard time receiving, even good things like kindness and love. Why do you think that is? And why is it so important to consciously develop that part of the sharing practice?
MGS: Because I think if you’ve been the person who has given a compliment or shared a gift and got that really uncomfortable response, which sometimes can also be dismissive, just in the uncomfortability of the person, it doesn’t always feel very good. And so then when somebody is kind or gives a gift or words of kindness, we need to think about, “Oh, I remember how it felt when mine weren’t received, so let me move through my own uncomfortableness and receive.” The more we do that, the more we actually get comfortable, both in the giving and the receiving.
And I think it allows us to see the generosity of spirit more in the world. Like the other day, I stopped at Starbucks, which I don’t do very often, and there was this woman who just looked so sharp. She came in quickly to get her coffee, and I said, “Excuse me,” and she kind of looked like, “Oh god, what’s going to happen?” And I said, “You look really sharp,” and she was like, “Oh, oh, thanks,” and then she kind of scooted out. Then probably 30 seconds later, this other woman came over, placed her order, and she said to me, “Oh, I really like your glasses”, and I was like, “Oh, thank you.” So there’s the reciprocity, right? I put it out, and then out of another place, it comes back, and then I put it out, and it comes back. If we don’t do that, we disrupt the natural flow, and I think the more we get back to the natural flow, the easier it is to actually receive the reciprocity.
Also, I think we’ve been inundated with “Don’t get too big for your britches” and all of that, and it actually interferes with our ability to be kind and to be generous of spirit – to be our humanity. I actually don’t think that our humanity is the dark side. We all have that ability, for sure, but I don’t think that that’s the general way to be. I think our authentic way is to be light.
AR: I really love that you emphasize the creating, the giving, and the receiving light. That it’s not just about sharing as in going outward; it really is the whole circle.
MGS: And having to protect our light at times.
AR: Yes, I thought it was interesting that you repeated the phrase “We do not have to share our light with everyone. Let me say that again.” I thought, “Oh yes, we all need to hear that.”
MGS: Especially as women.
AR: One thing I loved about the book is that we get to hear a variety of your voices and see you in different roles, as a daughter, a mom, a facilitator, a nurse, a wise woman, a storyteller. And so the book includes a variety of styles. Tell me how you came to this structure, because it’s quite different from your narrative work.
MGS: It’s a little bit like an adult version of Speaking our Truth and Braiding Sweetgrass for Young Adults. In those books, there were reflection questions, there were pull-outs – things to think about. Plus, I was thinking about what books in the past have really influenced me, and they were books that mostly had short stories and short pieces. I don’t think we’re in a time, really, where a lot of people can invest even an hour. Especially women, I think, right? Our lives are very full. And so it’s helpful to have a short story that might take three to seven minutes to read but could change our neurochemistry or help us reflect. I was also thinking about: what would I need, and what did I need as I was writing?
AR: What did writing this book give you?
MGS: My life. When I first submitted it, my mom had only just been diagnosed with dementia. You know, you can feel the darkness is coming, and you can’t slow it down. Then it took almost a year to get my first round of edits back.
AR: You were editing this book throughout that whole time of your mother’s illness?
MGS: Yeah. It was the medicine I needed, too.
AR: Was there anything as you were writing this that was not something that you were already practicing? Were there any surprises?
MGS: I used to think of hope as a salve. I put a little bit of something on, and now I have some hope, right? But I think of it now more as a practice I have to cultivate on a daily basis. And how I do that really is those four other ways of being – gratitude, love, joy, happiness. Those together help me cultivate hope.
So does my garden. I have all these little baby tobacco plants. They start the size of a seed, and they become plants, and then they become my tobacco leaves, and they become more pods. How do you not have hope when you plant that and all of a sudden, weeks later, they’re just popping up? Then they’re little plants, and then you have to repot them again. So being in the yard and being outside on the land helps me to have hope hugely.
And the full moon. On the night that my mom died, when we walked out of the hospital, it was the crescent moon – as crescent as crescent is possible – but you could see the fullness behind. That’s how I felt, just like a crescent, but I knew that one day I’d feel full again. I didn’t know when, but one day. So I think about that, that the moon never lets us down. Every 28 days, there she is in her fullness again. It reminds me of cycles of life, and when we are aware of the cycles of life, it helps us to know to have hope.
AR: When I came to this book, it was a time when I also needed its uplifting medicine. But can it be read as a kind of preventative medicine, even when times are good?
MGS: Oh, totally. Because it builds on our humanity, the more we’re attentive and attuned to both being grateful and offering thanksgiving – offering thanks for the giving that is going to come.
One of the most beautiful lessons I received was that when we pray, we don’t pray “Can I please have” and “Will you please do this.” It’s “Thank you for,” and then that prayer is like “Yes, that will happen,” or “Maybe not now,” or “I have something even better in mind.” Then it’s not a no, it’s just let’s think about this in another way.
AR: Yes, I sort of see the book as a heart maintenance manual.
MGS: It’s been wild because there have been so many people who have said, “Oh, it’s like Richard Wagamese’s Embers; you can just pick it up whenever you need a little boost.” Or when you don’t need a boost, but you’re just like, “I’m just going to nourish my spirit.” I don’t think we should nourish our spirits just when we need to, but all along.
Interviewer Bio: Amy Reiswig is a freelance writer living on SḴŦAḴ / Mayne Island. Her reviews, artist profiles, and personal non-fiction have appeared in The Walrus, This Magazine, The Malahat Review, The BC Review, Literary Review of Canada, CBC, Focus and more.